To “someone” out there I dedicated this post

[I have learnt to see everything wider]

Seiring bergantinya lembar buku harianku

Seiring pula bertambahnya kumpulan puisiku

Dan kian panjangnya rambut di kepalaku

Aku akan belajar memahami

Mencoba mengerti

Tentang dinamika hidup

Seiring sejalannya waktu

Do you remember those lines? Well, maybe you don’t. As some of my poems reflect my hopes, so does this one.

I’ll tell you one positive ‘function’ of my diary. It’s not only a history book of my life, but as I reread it I can see how far I have improved my self. I can see the people who have helped to shape me.

Lately, I tell you, I have learnt about ‘life’ more than I used to [well, I know everybody learns].

May I tell you some good news? The word “down” is not my favorite anymore. Instead, as I learn more about gratefulness, HE guides me how to be a standing-still woman, how to be tough, up…up…up!!!

Then, I’ve proven “the theory of changing the world with the heart as the starting point.” I have learnt that my perspective will form the world I see. You know, I think I smile more than I used to; even I laugh more :D I life with smile [and laughter] for Jesus, for others, also.. for you :)

Are you happy to hear that? Those are not easy, though. Take time. I’m still learning, you know. There are times when I fail-sometimes even hurt. But, I try to wake up again and again…

I always wanted to tell you this and another thing as I used to, but I don’t know how. Whether I like it or not and whether you want to talk about it or not, I have to accept that “some things” are matter in this world. That’s one reason I couldn’t figure out how should I tell you.

As what my eyes see, you do change in some ways. But, I know that you are “still the same” in some parts. You are still care, as you always be. Though you don’t speak it in words, I know how gentle you heart is actually.

So, as you told me long time ago, I tell you all through this post that I won’t regret someday coz I miss the chance.

From the deepest of my heart, I’d like to thank you. You are part of my “spectators” who help me to grow and shape me into who I am now.

So, wherever LIFE brings us now and then, I hope there’s one thing that would stay still: this TRUST, the trust of our friendship.

I have learnt how to relax my grips more so that other people [including you] as well as me myself, can improve and meet what God has compassionately planned. I pray that each of us can meet the foreordained destiny HE has made over our life.

Miss You, guys!

To dearest friends I used to have [and I hope I still have :)] I send this message. How are you there [everywhere you are]? I do really miss you, anyway.

No one can ever replace your part in my heart, coz each of you has done a difference in my life. Each of you is such a precious gift to me.

I miss the time we used to spent together, the stories we used to share, the places we used to visit, the laughters and tears we used to shared. I miss all those things we ever had.

Though we are now apart [in literal meaning and in other meaning], I’ll never forget you all. Our togetherness has left deep traces that are too hard to remove.

So, if one of you accidentally comes across to this page and reads this message, I just wanna say, “I do miss you, I do love you.”

Thanks for all memory we have!!

To my Dear God,

Dear God,

I’d like to say thank you for the understanding You’ve put in my life latey.

You know, You are such an extra-patient God.

The way You’ve dealt with my stubborn heart is so merciful.

You let me to go through the path, step by step,

until finally I realized one astonishing thing;

it is the way You’ve chosen to deliver Your message.

Well, You are a creative God,

You understand me at all,

That’s why You’ve chosen a way that suits my character perfectly.

Thank you, God, for that.

The Little Prince

“Bagi setiap manusia, bintang-bintang memiliki makna berbeda-beda. Bagi orang-orang tertentu—para pengembara—bintang-bintang adalah pemandu bagi mereka. Bagi yang lain, bintang-bintang adalah cahaya kecil di langit. Bagi orang lain lagi—para ilmuwan—bintang-bintang adalah persoalan yang harus dipecahkan. Bagi pengusahaku, mereka berarti emas. Tetapi bagi semua orang ini, bintang-bintang itu diam. Sedangkan kau, kau akan memiliki bintang-bintang itu yang tak pernah dimiliki orang lain.” (p. 99-100)

That’s one of my favorite parts of the book originally written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Though it’s merely a fiction, there’s something deeper within.

It tells a story about a pilot who meets a ‘little boy’ in Sahara desert. This ‘little prince’ comes from another planet, which is associated with a small asteroid. He has three ‘mountains’ and a flower there. In short, he then takes a journey to another planet. Only one person occupies each planet visited, except Earth. The first is occupied by a king; second by an overconfident man; third by a drinker; fourth by a businessperson; fifth by a lamp lighter; sixth by a geographer; and the last one is Earth.

Throughout the story, the writer inserts some moral principles, criticisms and idealisms in such an interesting way. It is actually recommended especially for children. Still, we will loose nothing taking a little time reading this full-illustrated book.

There are two major issues discussed. First, it tells about how ‘odd’ adults are, according to the writer’s opinion. Second, it talks about the idea of a relationship. A relationship would be meaningful if there is a strong tie between the participants. It requires patience and consistency. Thus, inevitably, it would leave an unforgettable trace within. Have you ever experienced one? I have :)

Thanks for allowing me to be the first reader of this book, Anie!!!

Understanding

A good friend must have this. One can gain it through a constant exposure, so that he/she knows what his/her friend like or dislike; what makes his/her friend upset or happy; also knows the timing.

I’d like to thank a friend of mine, Iték, for her understanding. For your concerns on the right time to keep the news, I say, “Thank you.” For your thoughtful consideration on the effect that it might bring to me, I say, “Thank you.” Also, for our investigation-messaging, that had forced you to wake up from your pleasant sleep, I say, “Thank you.”

Problem v.s. Response

There were times when I felt like crazy, so puzzled

When I got trapped inside the box

When I couldn’t think outside

As if I wasn’t able to find a way out

There were times when I was controlled under the circumstances

The lesson I get as what the fact has told me: don’t let myself to be long-lasted controlled by the condition and see what influences it would bring.

It’s not the problem of what and how the problem is; it is a matter of choice, on how I response.